last blog post :-(

I’m not sure what I thought I was expecting from this class at the beginning of the semester but I certainly never thought I would learn and grow as much as I did.  My groups and I made some really great art that I’m still incredibly proud of and probably will continue to be.  I was really nervous about taking an intermediate production class because I feel like everyone is always more knowledgeable or talented or confident than I am.  But now I know that that’s not true.  I have always been intrigued by experimental film and I think it’s a shame that so many people, even filmmakers, don’t really understand it and think that you can make a bunch of mistakes and call it experimental.  After taking this class, I confirmed what I had been thinking about which was that experimental is definitely my niche.  I don’t have as much of an interest in narrative or documentary, and creating the work that I did in this class was so much more fulfilling to me than anything narrative I’ve ever worked on.  I can’t believe how close our class has grown, it’s honestly insane.  I have never been a fan of working with other people but shuffling the groups around made it so that I really got to know my classmates as people and as artists.  I have so much more of an appreciation for experimental artists and just how much work and thought they put into their work, and I will fight anyone to the literal death who thinks avant-garde/experimental is dumb or not worth creating (I’ve met several of those).  I also think I learned a lot about myself as a filmmaker and about my personal style and niche.  Working with others has really helped me grow as a sound designer, and having our assignments broken up step by step helped me to learn to take my time and really work my hands into the metaphorical oobleck of art if you will. 

sorry i'm the worst but: late cucalorus post

First of all I suck for forgetting to post this.  This has probably been the worst semester of all time so I’ve been a little scatter-brained.  But Cucalorus was a pretty good experience for me overall.  I didn’t get to go to as many screenings/events as I would’ve liked to, but I did see all of the ones I had planned on which is good.  The animated shorts were my favorite, as there was experimental work as well as narrative that was screened.  I got to see a little bit into the world of film festivals that I wasn’t really familiar with, and although I was on a tight schedule, I did get to talk to several filmmakers while I was there, which was my big goal.  I ended up chickening out on asking a question during a panel but I’m really glad I stayed for them because putting a face to a name in the credits is the coolest part about these kinds of screenings.  The biggest thing I learned about was the process of getting your films into festivals, which I think will really help me in my programming job for Visions.  It was really cool to hear the filmmakers from the covered wagon shorts talking about submission and organization.  I also liked hearing the producer from Birthday Cake talk about balancing being a producer and being the lead actor and how that changed the roles she took on.  I was really surprised by how small some of the venues were, especially by the fact that blocks were scheduled for Thalian Black, as well as Tragedy Girls, which seemed like it should’ve been in a bigger theater.  I was also surprised by how many people I knew that I ran into at the festival.  I think if I were a filmmaker presenting at a festival I would like to have my film screened at mid-sized festivals like Cucalorus because you have a lot of people see your work, but you also have the time and resources to meet and really talk to other filmmakers.  I also now know that it would be good to go to as many events and parties as I could to network with other people in the business.

filmmaker presentation responses

I had never heard of Michel Gondry but apparently he’s directed so many of my favorite music videos??? Learning about him has come at such a blessed time because I’m writing a big paper for another class about how music videos evolved from a tradition of avant garde film and that modern music videos still evoke aspects of experimental cinema.  And now I have a whole new artist to focus on! Also Parker’s presentation was gorgeous and I loved that Bjork was the one to guide us through Gondry’s body of work.  The energy Parker brought made for a much more exciting presentation than normal.

Wow Martha Colburn is so cool. Her style really reminds me of Smith’s Heaven and Earth Magic, but more fun to watch and less excruciating.  I’m really fascinated by cutout animation and I would like to learn more about her process and her in-camera edits, which I have no fathomable idea of how to do.  I loved that Maddie clearly was very inspired by Colburn, and she really seemed to be interested in her work and her life.  I love learning about female filmmakers who work in the experimental area because it’s often easier for me to connect to their work.  

installation ideas

I’ve always been interested in art installations/museum culture but I’ve never really learned much about it or known how it could relate to film but I am really excited to finally work with film in a way that’s more layered and multi-faceted and tactile.  When I was in 11^th grade I went on a theatre field trip to NYC and we went to the MOMA and I remember seeing an installation where a film was projected on all 4 walls and the floor/ceiling and I thought it was the coolest thing ever but I sadly can’t remember the artist which I will be beating myself up about forever.  I’m hoping for our installation that we can do something with texture and touch and possibly multiple projectors but I’m not really sure how to completely formulate an idea.  I’m honestly a bit overwhelmed with the possibilities! I definitely want to explore the idea of being able to TOUCH film as opposed to just see/hear it.  I would say I want to get all 5 senses involved but smells make me really nervous so idk about that.

pre-cucalorus

What I am most excited for about Cucalorus is that not only will it be my first film festival besides Visions, but I will be able to possibly meet and talk to other young filmmakers. I feel like, aside from talent and hard work, networking is the one thing people say that you need in order to become successful, “it’s all about who you know” or whatever.  I want to listen to as many panels as I can and try to take advantage of all the opportunities that will arise.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford anything bigger than the 5-ticket pass, so I feel like there will be a lot there that I won’t get to take part in.  However, I do feel like it will give me good ideas and insight into what I might be able to expect from Visions next year.  I know for a fact that I will be going to the screening of Tragedy Girls, since I already have the ticket for that.  The other screenings I definitely want to go to are the Cabbage Head block, My Life as a Zucchini, the Covered Wagon block, and World of Tomorrow.  I love animation and feel like I don’t get to see enough independent animated films.  I don’t think I’m going to have time to attend any parties because I am up to my eyeballs in work, but I am really going to try to go to at least one.  I also am going to try to see Rebekah Todd play on Saturday night.  One challenge that I’m setting for myself is to approach a filmmaker who is presenting their work at the festival and introduce myself and find out more about them (I’m very shy one on one, so this is going to be difficult).  I’m also challenging myself to ask questions during a panel, which is something I never do.

ideas about music video

I was so terrified by being assigned the position of producer and I continue to be terrified. Luckily, my group is very supportive and knowledgeable so I'm confident that they will be able to help me out along the way.  I was most excited about location scouting and we had a really productive day finding places around town that inspired us.  I'm actually really excited now to learn about how to schedule and write up the treatment.  organization terrifies me but when I do it I find it therapeutic.

self portrait reflection

my self portrait was a deeply vulnerable experience, which was hard for me because I am a very emotional and open person, but it's always been difficult to find what I consider to be my true self.   my whole life I've been trying to distinguish what is "me" from my various illnesses and the things I enjoy superficially.  I've always tended to define myself by what I like and don't like and the people I surround myself with rather than what actually comes from myself.  I define myself my being sick and by my favorite music. I explored this a bit in my project, but I tried to connect with what actually makes up my identity.  The medium I chose is perhaps what was most dear to me about this project.  I am very passionate about sound editing and design and I feel like I poured my heart and soul into this the only way I really know how.

response to reading0 from arthouse to microcinema

This was such an interesting article because I had never really put together the concept of microcinema before.  But this is definitely a movement I’ve engaged with in the past; I saw a pop-up screening of Breathless in a rec center, and my grandparents took me and my brother to see art films in little playhouses and libraries and stuff all the time growing up.  They actually live in Chatham, Massachusetts weirdly, and my brother and I spent our childhood summers living on Cape with them, and for such a small area, there are lots of cinephiles who engage with this kind of niche film culture (most of them elderly-ish, but I think the majority of people who live on Cape Cod are??).  At first it seems disheartening that the experience of going to a seedy little theater to see a foreign film is becoming more and more scare, but it’s heartening to know that people who love weird film are gonna gather up together and watch weird film in any place they can.

response to filmmaker presentations

Surprisingly, I had never heard of Marlon Riggs before this presentation, but I feel like I’ve seen some of his work before, especially what we watched from Tongues Untied.  Something about the “brother to brother” part seemed familiar but I can’t think of where I possibly could’ve seen it before.  I really enjoyed Maggie’s presentation because she was really thorough, and we got to watch a lot of Riggs’s work which, along with the fact that he has a very distinct voice and filmic fingerprint, made it easier to connect with him as an artist.  I am definitely interested in learning about other queer experimental filmmakers besides Kenneth Anger and Jack Smith, and I feel like it’s important to absorb that there are different kinds of queerness outside of the white gay male experience.

Yay for LGBTQ women! I loved what we got to see of Su Friedrich and I think her style is so interesting, and I am very intrigued by the process of combining documentary and experimental film.  I wish we could’ve seen more of her work, but I can tell that she has a very strong voice and that I would engage well with her as an artist who is also passionate about feminist and queer politics.  “The personal is political” is such a powerful statement, and a very pertinent one.  I can tell that Catherine worked hard to convey Su’s spirit and ideology, and I am definitely going to check out more of Su’s work.

I want to start off by saying that I am extremely jealous that Gabby got to interview her filmmaker! (I would’ve loved to be able to shoot Viking Eggeling a text about his picture scrolls tbh)  Jen Proctor seems like such an interesting and eccentric person, which is evidenced by not only her work, but from how she chose to tell her story as an artist.  I am very into found footage so I loved the plane crash film, and I want to see the bathroom film so badly oh my god.  The presentation on her was so cool because of the specific details that Gabby chose to use.  It’s heartening to know that accomplished experimental filmmakers also make silly Star Wars parodies in their backyards.  It added a layer of humanness that isn’t as accessible with other filmmakers.

self-portrait

I was so excited when I read the syllabus for this class and saw that there was a self-portrait assignment.  I’ve been wanting to make one for a long time but never thought I had an excuse to I guess.  Music and sound design is my life, so I definitely want to make an experimental soundscape, but I’m worried that it may not turn out exactly how I’m envisioning it.  I’m also a bit concerned about the no music rule, because there is a lot of music (traditional and contemporary) that I was thinking about using for this project all semester.  I’m hoping I can appropriate pieces of the music in such a way that makes it not seem like a music video or whatever, but I’m scared that the music clips not being recognizable defeats the purpose of having them.  I definitely don’t want to include any video or film in my project, except for maybe a still image, but I haven’t decided yet.  But if I feel like I’m not using the songs correctly and I have to change course on the project I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.  I’m sure it will all work out but the more I think about it, the more intimidated I am by the whole idea of this.  I know what I like but thinking about the essence of ~me~ is kind of daunting.  I think I’m going to have a really difficult time separating what I enjoy objectively from who I am, which I guess is the whole point of this project.  

filmmaker presentation- Jan Svankmejer

When we first watched a film by Jan Svankmejer in class I couldn’t really see myself liking anything like that because it was honestly kind of off-putting? But Dylan did a really great job of showcasing his work and what was awesome and interesting about it, and his presentation had a certain flair that made him really engaging.  I loved the film Food the most.  I’ve always found myself drawn to “ugly” stop motion and drawn animation (i.e: Gumby, early Rugrats, anything kind of grotesque but endearing) so I’m glad I got to see more of Svankmejer’s work.  I was mostly mesmerized by the sheer amount of time it must’ve taken to painstakingly animate all of that food.

filmmaker presentation responses

STAN BRAKHAGE

Before this presentation, I’d only seen some of Brakhage’s more impersonal films like Mothlight and Text of Light so I was really interested to hear more about his as a person and to see Window Water Baby Moving.  It was awesome to learn about his personal life and the vast diversity of his body of work.  Stan obviously dug deep into the research and had a really clear timeline mapped out of Brakhage’s life, which made it easier to contextualize his works, especially the shift towards less personal work.  I was happy with the choice of clips Stan chose, and with his choice to show Brakhage in the actual process of painting on film.

GEORGE KUCHAR

I really enjoyed Christian’s presentation on George Kuchar, and I think she did a great job at capturing not only his filmmaking style, but his personal essence.  I love that she made the presentation personal and was able to connect with and appreciate Kuchar’s work.  She included a lot of anecdotes and bits and pieces of his life that made it easier to understand his artistic philosophy, and that made the presentation much more entertaining.  I also loved seeing some of his line drawings and interviews, and I feel like that definitely added more depth.

light observations

I think this is what I was supposed to do?

The light in my bedroom is soft and brassy at the same time.  It seems like a cold fluorescent is muted by the yellow tinged light fixture.  It gives the white walls a dingy look, cream rather than their actual eggshell color.  There are lots of harsh shadows since the light is coming directly from overhead.  The light exposes every particle of dust but also is dim enough not to be blinding.  The artificial light clashes with the cleaner looking light coming from the window, which is partially obscured by blinds.  The light from the window is overpowered by the fluorescent about half a foot into the room

In the yard behind my apartment, the light is cold and fuzzy.  It’s overcast and the sun only touches the ground in a patch of grass far away.  The diffuse light is sort of dim, but still seems clean, natural, and inviting.  There aren’t many shadows at all except right around where the ground is exposed to the sun, where it looks stark and blindingly green with thick, black shadows.  The blue-gray tone of the light makes it seem like it should be much cooler outside; it looks like fall without the orange, yellow, or red.  

response to presentation: Maya Deren

Maya Deren has been one of my favorite filmmakers since I first began studying film, but I never realized how much I didn’t know about her and her work.  I think choreographic film is fascinating and would love to watch some of her later works to see how her style evolved over time.  I also love the anecdote about her love for cats, and hearing things like that about your idols humanizes them a bit.  I would also like to know more about Deren’s ethnography, and the ways in which her book Divine Horsemen was controversial.  Ryan’s presentation was entertaining and thorough, and it’s clear to me that she did a lot of research and was very passionate about her subject.    

Lynne Sachs- Extra Credit

Drawn and Quartered is probably my favorite film that Lynne showed on Wednesday night, mostly because she makes the technicalities of the medium so apparent.  Hearing her talk about the process of cutting film was fascinating, especially the concept of destructive editing.  I’d always known that before digital editing, filmmakers had to physically cut the film, but hearing Lynne talk about her experience editing this film (and in the process, becoming more confident) made it more tangible for me in a sense.  Her story of cutting out the parts of the film with her face present and then re-inserting them back after some convincing helped me to further relate to her film-making process and the evolution of her distinct fingerprint that is present in all of her films.

response to Lynne Sachs interview

What I found most intriguing about the Sachs interview was her approach to documentary.  She talks about getting people to open up to her by making their experiences familiar as opposed to alienating them, and making them feel like they experienced some grand horror that’s so far away from the filmmaker that they could never understand.  One problem I have with most documentaries I’ve seen (think History Channel) is that the narrators always seem so far removed from the historical circumstances because they tend to treat it like just that: history.  I think I would be able to connect with a documentary more if it treated those circumstances more like experiences people actually lived, which they are.  Her whole philosophy on familiarity is very insightful to me.  The concept of a dirty bed being the most intimate you can be with a person without them actually there is something I’d never thought about before, but I guess that’s why I can never really sleep in hotels.  

response to Lynne Sachs film

One of the films by Lynne Sachs that I watched was called Same Stream Twice.  What I interpreted the film as is that the first part, the slow motion long take of a little girl running, was a reflection of nostalgia and childhood, and the choice to shoot in black and white emphasizes the nostalgia.  The second part, I believe, is the same girl as a teenager or adult, running in the same fashion and looking at the camera.  The film being distorted and “scratched” shows the passage of time, and because of the title, the film means to me that a person is changing and evolving so much as they age that they can never truly be the same person they were before.    

response to assignment 1B

Assignment 1b was extremely fun and interesting for me.  I had some experience in sound design and editing, which is what I want to do for a career, but I had never done it in a collaborative setting before.  Working creatively with someone else on a soundscape was a completely new experience.  I think one of the biggest things I learned was that working with someone else forces you to slow down.  Normally when I edit I get “in the zone” and plow through it.  Taking the time to listen to someone else’s suggestions not only made me sit back and take breathers, but slowing down helped me to concentrate more, and to be able to analyze my own work as we were making it. 

Moritz, the absolute film

Honestly, this article was kind of mind-blowing for me. I have been studying absolute film for several weeks now (with my film-maker presentation and in FST 372) and have never made the connection between absolute film and absolute music. This got me thinking about how all of the films I've seen from this movement really embody the concept of "absolute," as in, having all of the necessary aspects to be considered cinema, but with no narrative purpose, just pure film for the sake of the art. It is increasingly frustrating for me when people watch an absolute film (or Experimental film in general) and ask "why? what's the point if I don't 'get it'?"  Sometimes a person creates art just with the intent of exploring what they can do with the medium, and it doesn't have to conform to any one person's idea of what art really is.

response to presentation: Harry Smith

I had seen several Smith films before Ben's presentation but didn't know much about his personal life. I though the description of his upbringing was super interesting and the video of Smith being interviewed was a good choice and helped to give a more complete picture of him as a person and artist. Ben did a good job of covering the variety of Smith's work as as a film-maker and archivist.

response to presentation: Len Lye

Madison's presentation about Len Lye was concise and informative, but it was evident that she was passionate about his work. I thought it was really important that she included his upbringing, interests, and artistic endeavors outside of film, because it gave a more well-rounded picture of who he was as a person and how his experiences influenced his style (like his Maori influence and advertising career).

response to presentation: Jonas Mekas

I think Matt gave an interesting, comprehensive presentation on Jonas Mekas, which was a great introduction to the film-maker presentations and Experimental film as a whole.  Mekas has lived a very long and prolific life, which makes it difficult to include everything about him while still giving a detailed description of his cinematic style and philosophy, but I felt like by the end of Matt's presentation, I had a very strong idea of who Mekas is and what he stands for. 

synesthesia and cymatics

synesthesia is a concept that I have always been fascinated by, but never quite understood.  My best friend in high school was a synesthete, and for her, every number had a different color.  It was a hard concept for me to grasp and even harder for her to explain, but watching the TEDtalk about synesthesia made it a little more clear.  The concept of connecting one sense with another is one that I would like to see explored more in art, much like the woman who painted songs, and I think film would be the perfect medium to experiment with.  I'm going to be honest, before the last class period I had never heard of cymatics outside of a physics class, which is strange because I've been a musician all my life and sound is my favorite aspect of film.   The concept of sound as pure energy that has the capability to create tangible patterns, and as something you can physically feel is very interesting to me, and also something I would like to experiment with at some point.  I feel that synesthesia and cymatics are quite similar in the fact that they combine one sense with another in an unexpected way.

sound recording experience

Although we didn't get the cleanest sound out of all the groups, I would say we had a very positive experience with the sound recording project.  Everyone in the group had a positive attitude and were quick to brainstorm and think creatively.  We did run into snags since we recorded a large portion of our sounds in public, and background noise was prevalent.  However, I was pleasantly surprised at the range of different and unidentifiable sounds we were able to record.  It was only my second time using an H6 recorder and it has been a huge improvement over the H4n recorders we used in 201, making the whole process more streamlined and pleasant.

bela balazs

I found this article even more difficult to absorb than the Murch, but once I was able to trudge through the wordiness, I was able to appreciate Balazs's insight. I found his section "Educating the Ear" especially interesting, and thought he really got to the heart of why hearing things without seeing them can be scary, since sounds are innately harder for the human brain to identify than something that is seen.  what I also thought was interesting was that he was getting at the idea that silence can be much more varied and diverse than people realize, especially in the context of film.

walter murch

what I think is most interesting about Walter Murch's piece is his theory that how we process sound as adults goes all the way back to what sounds we were experiencing in the womb. I never really though before about the process of a baby realizing that sounds and sights/feelings go together, and this general idea gives film sound new meaning and depth. while Murch's language is flowery and poetic, showing the artistry and raw connection humans have to sound, he touches on its importance in a scientific way as well.  I was extremely confused at his diagram of the "colors" of sound like dialogue and music, but felt it easier to grasp upon the second reading. his wordiness here made it much more of a challenge to understand what he was explaining.

sound observation 2

in starbucks- I can hear the music coming from the speakers, a synth-y 80s pop song that sounds a bit garbled. there are a lot of people in the store and i can hear 4 or 5 voices overlapping, one a young woman with a deep raspy tone.  there is a latte machine which is very loud and makes a harsh "shhh" sound when used. I can hear people walking in sandals or soft shoes on the tile and the footsteps sound like a soft click or pat with a scrape. empty plastic cups being placed on the counter have a high-pitched hollow tap.

sound observation 1

in my kitchen- The fridge is making a low, soft rumble that is constant. a couple ice cubes fall in the freezer and it sounds like high-pitched, tinny thuds that echo briefly.  I can hear my roommate's TV playing in the next room and it sounds like an old-fashioned radio announcer with a brassy voice, with a big band playing in the background. She and her boyfriend are talking, and her voice is soft and high, his is deep and carries, echos loudly. all of this is muffled through the wall. There is a different low rumbling from the air conditioner that cuts on and off every few minutes. Occasionally I can hear the soft whooshing/whirring noise of cars passing outside.

what is experimental film?

While I can understand why Camper's article is helpful in defining the over-arching characteristics of experimental film, I find that it reads too much like a rule book.  Obviously many of these points can be contested, and the concept of over-arching characteristics of experimental film seems strange, since there really isn't a good way to define the mode. In an academic setting though, I do appreciate having this passage as a reference, as it is often hard to define whether or not a film could be considered avant-garde or experimental if you don't know which traits to look out for. Someone who may not be familiar with this mode of film-making would find this reading extremely helpful.

amateur vs professional

this post could be alternatively titled "why I love Maya Deren".  I've had to read this essay several times in the course of my time as a film student, but this time, in the context of this class, it really clicked.  I've always felt very confined as a student film-maker.  I've felt that I can't make exactly what I'm trying to because I don't have the means, the gear, the connections, etc.  But this made me realize that what I'd been trying to do before wasn't really reflective of me as an artist, and that in this format, working independently of a crew or a studio, I have the freedom to make what I want and how I want. In her essay, Deren celebrates the amateur film-maker, because they make films and art out of a love for the medium as opposed to a need for money. While I obviously understand that I need money to survive, this reading makes me feel more confident in what I'm doing as an artist. What I make is just as valid as anything else, and I can make something just as good, if not better than a big budget Hollywood film. Because if it's good to me, it doesn't make a difference what others think. I wouldn't be making it for them anyway.

intro

Ever since I can remember, I've loved watching movies more than anything. My whole life has revolved around the films my parents showed me, and I decided I wanted to be a paleontologist at 4 years old after watching Jurassic Park.  I held on to this dream until my first trip to Walt Disney World when I was 17, when I visited Hollywood Studios and promptly changed my future career to film-making. Now I work at Disney World seasonally and am actively pursuing a career as a sound mixer/designer because as much as I love making magic, I don't want to work at a theme park forever.  And while I've always been inspired by the classics, I find myself gravitating towards film that I can relate to on a personal level like queer and women's cinema. Hopefully one day I'll have a real job, but right now I'm here to have fun, goddamn it.