amateur vs professional

this post could be alternatively titled "why I love Maya Deren".  I've had to read this essay several times in the course of my time as a film student, but this time, in the context of this class, it really clicked.  I've always felt very confined as a student film-maker.  I've felt that I can't make exactly what I'm trying to because I don't have the means, the gear, the connections, etc.  But this made me realize that what I'd been trying to do before wasn't really reflective of me as an artist, and that in this format, working independently of a crew or a studio, I have the freedom to make what I want and how I want. In her essay, Deren celebrates the amateur film-maker, because they make films and art out of a love for the medium as opposed to a need for money. While I obviously understand that I need money to survive, this reading makes me feel more confident in what I'm doing as an artist. What I make is just as valid as anything else, and I can make something just as good, if not better than a big budget Hollywood film. Because if it's good to me, it doesn't make a difference what others think. I wouldn't be making it for them anyway.